The Silence That Made Them
by steelmagnolia0623
Summary: Leroy Jethro Gibbs and Jenny Shepard have always had an implicit ability to understand each other, and comfort each other. Hey guys this is my first story, so I more than welcome reviews, thanks :) Also the rating will more than likely go up with the next chapter
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me

He was sitting in his boat alone, trying to drown out all the voices in his head. The voices in his head mock him over all his failures; they grab at his very soul and tear his heart in all directions. They speak to him louder and louder and louder. Leroy Jethro Gibbs slams his mason jar of bourbon down; its his fourth glass and he feels numb. He's been here before, he should be used to it. But that's the kicker, he used to be able to deal with it alone. But see, that was before she came into the picture. She was his crutch and he knew it; she was his shoulder to lean on. He should feel weak and be angry about it but he doesn't; he only feels remorse over the fact that it isn't an option anymore.

It isn't an option anymore is it? No it couldn't be, she told him a month ago that there wouldn't be any off the job. He wanted so badly to hate for her that. But he couldn't, because he still loved her and he needed her. He needed her for days like these when his nightmares plagued him and the case had been a tough one. The case had involved a navy lieutenant's daughter who got kidnapped. They had safely recovered the girl and returned her to her parents. But cases like that always remind him of the time he wasn't there to save a little girl who meant the world to him. None of his ex wives were really able to understand it. They all tried but none of them ever understood what he was feeling. Nobody, that is until Jenny came along. She changed everything for him because she wasn't like the rest; trying to comfort him by telling he did all he could. Jenny had the uncanny ability to sooth him with just a touch. She implicitly understood the silence and suffering that he sat in. She didn't try to "fix" him; Jenny wasn't like that. Instead she would bring over Chinese and they would sit on his couch and watch John Wayne movies. Then later as he started to drift to into sleep she would hold him and they would stay like that until they woke again in the morning. It was the nights like that that had cemented the bond between them. It was the reason why they understood each other like nobody else could; because it was the silence that made them.

His phone starts to ring and it breaks him out of his revere, "Yeah Gibbs"

On the other side of town she smiles on her end of the phone "Hello Jethro"

He takes a deep breath "Jen"

"I was reading over your case reports, the ones with children are always the worst"

He merely grunted in response, waiting for her to get to the point

She was apprehensive before she made this phone call but she had wanted to check on him; she needed to check on him

"Listen Jethro, I haven't had dinner yet, have you?", smooth Jenny really smooth she thought to herself

"Nope, haven't been very hungry" , he answered.

"Would it be okay if I brought over Chinese?

"Sounds good"

And she surprised him then because she took a page out of his playbook and hung up on him without saying goodbye.

As she got ready to go over to Jethro's she began fighting the same internal conflict that always seemed to surface whenever Jethro was involved. She didn't let herself be around him a lot for the simple reason that he provoked feelings within her that she didn't have the time to feel. He was a distraction from her plans, and from her success. But damn if half the time she didn't believe he was worth the sacrifice. But she has to look out for herself and stay on track. That's why she tries to ignore him and treat him as though she has never cared for him. But she loves him too much not to be drawn to his pain. She knows he is hurting and that he will likely drown in his emotions if he is alone tonight, and she can't let him do that to himself. She changes into a long sleeve tshirt, jeans, and boots and sets out for Jethro's.

His mind is still reeling, he wasn't at all prepared for her to come over. He wants so badly to selfishly take the comfort that he knows only she can provide. But he also loves her too much to put her in a position in which she is unhappy. Gibbs decides he will treat her like Mike or Tobias; just an old friend. He hears the knock on his door, and gets up to answer it.

He opens the door to see Jenny standing on his front porch. He immediately realizes his plan might not go as well as he had hoped because damn if she wasn't a hell of a lot prettier than Fornell or Mike.

"Jethro" she says with a small smile.

"Jen" he nods back at her as he stands aside to let her in.

"I picked up our usual, I brought a movie too."

He half groaned, teasing her, "Its not one of those chick flicks is it?"

Smirking at him she replied, "McClintock; not too much of a chick flick for ya is it Duke?"

He smiled at this and shook his head.

They went to the living room where he sat on the couch as she put the movie in. She felt his eyes on her as she was getting the movie set and tried not to blush. She came and sat down next to him, grabbing her carton of food. As the opening credits started she tucked one leg under her and her foot brushed against his thigh. She flushed and started to scoot over when he stayed her with a touch to her foot. They ate in comfortable silence as the movie rolled on, occasionally eating out of each others containers. By the time the big fight scene in the mud slide was on they had finished there food and were starting to shift closer together. They leaned against each other, touching from head to waist. Both were gradually beginning to focus more on the other and less on the movie. He reached out and grabbed her hand and brought it to rest on his thigh. She gave his leg a small squeeze and snuggled up to him further. As the end credits rolled she glanced up to discover he had fallen asleep. She quietly slid her hand off his thigh and got up; stretching as she turned off the television. As she turned back around she noticed he had a small frown on his face. Her heart really and truly ached for him and all she wanted was to take away his pain. She grabbed a blanket hanging off the back of a chair and walked over to the couch. Sitting down next to him again; she lay his head on her shoulder and covered them both up. Running her fingers through his hair she let sleep take her.

In the early hours of the morning he woke up, but unlike most nights he was in a cold sweat or breathing harshly; no instead he felt warm and comforted. Then he looked up and realized why; Jenny was holding him to her. She lay on her back with him laying back against her front; one hand in his hair and the other rest over his heart. He knew she would leave in the morning and that she would never allow them to have a relationship again but he couldn't help himself from snuggling up to her and closing his eyes again. Enjoying this time with her while he still had it.

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks so much for the follows, favorites, and reviews everybody! I was very encouraged to see that this story got such a great response. And I hope that everybody enjoys this chapter too.

When Jenny woke up that morning she found herself to be a little disoriented. She started to try to sit up but she felt weight against her chest and looked down to see Jethro laying on top of her, asleep. He lay with his back pressed against her chest, her arms wrapped around his chest and his grasping hers. They were clinging to each other not only physically but emotionally, even though seemingly unconsciously. She was wrapped around him as though she could protect him from any threat, including his dreams. And he held onto her like a lifeline, like a drowning man clinging to a life preserver. She smiled a little bit at the way they were laying, they had always needed each other like this. It was almost as though they were two halves of a whole.

She thought about a time long ago when they had been in this same position, though back then neither were paralyzed by the fear of one leaving the other. Instead they were bold and comfortable with one another; they laughed with no fear of the future. But more than that they loved with a love that was so unlike anything either of them had ever known. It was liberating and neither had ever felt as strong as they did in that moment together. She flashed back to a morning very much like this one but instead of being on his couch they were upstairs lying in his bed wrapped around each other. Where the cold and outside world couldn't reach them. _"Good morning sleepyhead" she teased him before leaning down to take his lips in a kiss. As they let the kiss deepen and she slid her tongue across his lower lip he softly moaned and opened his mouth to her. All the while he was shifting so that she lay half underneath him and as he drew his hand up her side she shivered. She drew her mouth away from his to catch her breath, stringing a line of kisses along the line of his jaw and - _"Jen?" she snapped out of her reverie at the sound of his voice. "What did you say?" she asked. "I said good morning, he answered smiling up at her. "Good morning Jethro", her eyes leaving his and seemingly for the first time realizing their new position on his couch. Instead of somewhat innocently snuggling she now found them to be in a more intimate position. He had apparently turned over and now lay on top of her with his hands under her back and hers had found their way to rest under the hem line of his shirt on the bare skin of his back. As she brought her eyes back up to his she felt her face flushing and coughed a little awkwardly as she started to sit up, forcing him to sit up as well. "Jen I-" he started, but she bolted up off the couch suddenly and began to grab her things and acted as though she was about to leave.

His gut wrenched at the thought. He didn't want her to leave, hell he had never wanted her to leave him in the first place. But he didn't want to have to watch her leave like this now, "You should eat-before you go I mean." She looked up at him as though she was scared of him and it worried him.

She really knew better, she knew she should turn tail and run. She shouldn't stay here and eat with but even as all the reasons that she shouldn't flew through her head she found herself saying "Okay". Though she still refused to let her eyes meet his, afraid that if she did she might do something insane like tell him how she actually felt about him.

He nodded his head once at her hesitant answer and turned and walked to his kitchen feeling relieved that he had at least convinced her to stay the morning with him.

She followed him to the kitchen where he was beginning to pull eggs and bacon from his refrigerator to start cooking their breakfast. "Can I help with anything?" he turned to look at her, "You could start some coffee if you want."

And as though she was there every day she went straight to the cabinet where he kept the coffee and moved around him with ease as she filled the pot with water.

It should be surprising to her that they seemed to flow around each other effortlessly like this. But it didn't really because they had always had an acute understanding of one another. They were able to communicate silently without strain. Which was rare to find in another person but it was an attribute that had served them well in their partnership. It occurred to her that in the years she had been with NCIS everyone had always assumed her relationship with Jethro was one sided. He was head over heals for her but others had always assumed her feelings for him could be described as luke-warm at best. But they could not have been more wrong about that. She loved Jethro with such an intensity that it scared her. Jenny was unused to situations in which she was the one who needed somebody. She was always everybody else's rock to lean on. That is, she was until she met Jethro. From day one he changed things for her; he became her rock. Nobody but Jethro knew about her nightmares concerning her father and the Frog. Nobody had ever been there for her before when dreams like those wouldn't leave her subconscious. But Jethro had been there for her every single time she had needed him since they met. He healed her heart; though others would swear it was made of ice. Jethro made her smile and laugh like she had never worried a day in her life. He made her feel beautiful and appreciated; a feeling that had been completely new to her at the time. She needed Jethro, and more importantly she wanted him, was drawn to him to soothe the ache that rest in his heart. She knew that ache, had lived with it for years until he came into her life and saved her from herself. It was an ache that ate at you until you felt as though your very soul was sad and crying. And she desired nothing more than to heal his, if for no other reason because she loved him so.

As the coffee maker began to gurgle she turned from it to get them two mugs out of the cabinet and was very disarmed to find him staring at her. Then she sniffed the air and it smelled like something was- "Damnit!" he had burned some of the bacon because he had been watching her, and suddenly she laughed at him. She really hadn't meant to but she couldn't help it. He turned to look at her and smirked before throwing the dish towel he had been using to wipe his hands at her. She caught it with ease and began to twirl it in the air as she said, "You're slipping in your old age Jethro; you used to be able to ogle me _and _cook." He threw her a look and snorted before mumbling under his breath,"At least I can cook". At that she stopped her foot in mock indignation, and threw the towel at him hard. "I can cook Jethro, but why should I when you can do it for me?" He just chucked the towel back at her only to have her throw it back at him and hit him in the back of the head as he turned away to tend to the bacon still cooking on the stove.

They ate in comfortable silence glancing at each other occasionally, and then cleaned up the mess. As they walked to the living room he felt a little bolder suddenly and took her hand in his. As she turned to look at him, clearly about to ask he had lost his mind he turned her to face him and gradually started bending his head toward her. And she couldn't help but lean up toward him; then at the last second he lifter her hand to his mouth placing a quick kiss on the back before dropping her hand and walking down to his basement.


End file.
